My muscles are tensing up
My breathing becomes faster and faster
My head hurts
What's happening to me?
He looks at me and smiles
I look away
I hate him
He's so gross
My mind goes numb
As I slip into sweet oblivion
The lights are dim
And it's dark all around
When he got done with me
He moved onto himself
He tried to have me help him
But I won't
I slip silently into my room
Into my bed
And try to push the images and feelings away
I try to dream it all away
The oblivions of my dreams
Is so comforting
That I wish that it would
Bind me there for eternity
So that I would no longer have
To deal with HIM

The hope that runs through our kind
Seems to be wearing thin
For all the violence, pain and suffering
Tears the soul to pieces
And the changes people into monsters
The failing hope of society
Makes me feel so damn sick
So many people have forgotten
To keep their hope
It really is sad
All the failing hope
Around the world
Will break it to pieces
Before anyone can save it

Nobody quite understands
How each and every life
Is so incredibly delicate
And how everything is somehow tied together
Every mistake that we make
Makes life different than if we hadn't
Everything we seem to do right
Affects another that we don't even know
All the hate and love
Rights and wrongs
Through all that sadness and happiness
Everything is the way it is because of what somebody else has done
Someday I want you to look at yourself
And think about all that you have done
And who you could have possibly made their life a little different
And hopefully you will decide to make a change
Who knows
It might makes life just a little better for all of us

The screams in my head
I know are real
They just won't go away
They are always there
They keep me up at night
They constantly remind me of who I am and what I have done
The screams are horrible and terrifying
They make me want to die
To fall to the ground and weep
To tear out my heart and burn it up
They make me want to throw myself off the cliff of Earth
And into the deepest part of Hell
The screams in my head stay trapped inside
They chew me up
And then spit me back out
Terrorized and permanently deformed
I lay in the dark
The only thing still there waiting for me
Are the screams inside my head

Black lace
Around her face
Lying down
In crimson velvet
Black silk
Around her body
Wrapped in a
Mohogany coffin
A mother weeping
A father cradling his wife
A boyfriend
Falling to pieces
The scars on her arms
The pain in her soul
The hate in her dead eyes
All cauesd by one person
The blood stains on the floor
A knife on an officer's desk
The death papers on the kitchen table
Were written just for her
Black lace
Around her face
This is a story
Of suicide

My black straightjacket
With my arms around me
And with straps to hold me tight
Seems to be
Loosening up
The dark memories
Of my past
No longer
Seem to bother me
They are fading
So now there is room
For new hope
New memories
New experiences
And now
Everything seems
NEW!

I feel so alone
As I sit here in my room
Writing this down
As tears roll down my cheek
I think of how my life use to be
And I beging to think of how much I miss it
The tears increase
And the memories refuse to cease
I know that it's my fault
For all the changes
That have had to happen
And caused a family to split apart
I feel so bad
About what I've done
That I can no longer bear myself
And all I wish to do is die
I wish that I wan't like this
It just makes me hate myself more
I just wish to die
And be all alone
Nobody knows how i really feel
For there is no reason for them to
I lack so much trust in others
That it just hurts me more
I know that others are worse off than me
And that I have no reason to be complaining
I feel so stupid
And so self-centered
My hope dies everyday
There is nothing else for me to stay
Maybe one day
Things will be okay

I think that I'm having a break through
This is a good thing right?
I need to get through this
I need this for me
I know that my past is bad
But I don't want it to control my life
Can anybody understand that
Do you?
Hopefully I can get out
Of this broken and barren forest
The forest of lifes and dead hope
I have walked through for years
I'm tired of the same old thing
The dark can't be without sun
I've learned that
Hopefully I can break through this soon

 Out of this Dark Forest of Doom

Oh sweetest death
Cradle me in your embrace
And carry me away
To the Land of Dreams
You have stood at my doorstep
But I have always rejected you
You have sat beside me before
But I have always turned away
Now I am inviting you in
Please take me by the hand
And carry me away
Away to the Land of the Unknown
Whisper in my ear
A single little prayer
A prayer just for me
Forever to stay
Carry me on featherless wings
Past the moon and the stars
To a place made just for me
A dreamland created by my heart
Where the rain is made of my tears
The rivers flow with the pain of my heart
The skies are painted with the words of my dreams
And the light that shines with the hope of a new day

Forged by the flames of sin
I smolder into pieces
Ashes blow in the winds of Hell
As Satan carries me away
My soul to be forgotten
An everlasting pain
My soul to be forsaken
An everlasting rain